Faber and Mazlish: parent-child communication

Developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, students of psychologist Haim Ginott, this educational approach gained worldwide recognition through practical workshops. It starts from a fundamental observation: most tantrums, refusals and confrontations between parents and children arise from mutual misunderstanding of emotional needs rather than ill will.

The method teaches very simple skills: 1. Acknowledge children's feelings with words that recognise rather than deny their emotion, such as 'You have a right to feel furious'. 2. Encourage cooperation without shouting by describing the problem objectively, such as 'There is milk spilt on the table', rather than accusing. 3. Replace humiliating punishments with logical, reparative consequences. 4. Praise effort descriptively rather than offering an abstract overall judgement.

By applying these tools at critical moments, including bedtime, leaving in the morning, homework and tidying the bedroom, parents notice a rapid reduction in tension. Children feel their human dignity is respected and cooperate voluntarily rather than becoming entrenched in systematic opposition.

This approach relieves families of guilt: it reminds them that there are no perfect parents, only adults wishing to adjust with love. It restores a warm, harmonious atmosphere of shared understanding within the family home.

Adopting new parental communication habits requires practice and tolerance towards one's own missteps. The method encourages partners to support each other, creating a unified family framework in which listening and mutual respect are the guiding principles.